Ok, ok. I know this whole depressing writing shit is probably getting very annoying, but right now, I don't know what is going on. I like this one guy, but, he's in like with someone else, and it seems like thats never gonna change. So, whatever. I'm happy single, and I'm not looking for a relationship right now.
But then, I think I like someone else, when I know it's only because I think he's cute. Therefore, this cannot be considered a crush. And yet, being in a crowd of people, I feel unwanted.
So, don't get me wrong. I know there's people who care about me. I know that. But it seems like everyone's lives are moving forward, and I'm standing still, in the middle of it all. I want to join in, but I don't know how, or if it's even possible for me right now.
Don't go thinking that this is a cry for help, or any shit like that. Just know, if I'm not talking, it's for a reason. If I don't look happy, it's because I don't actually know if I am or not right now. And if I look a little too happy, it's probably fake.
If you have a problem with me like this, deal with it. This is not a time to change myself for someone else. I won't do it. I'm not going to act happy just because your having a bad day and need cheering up. I'm not going to go on like everythings okay, especially if I don't know whether or not it is right now.
And no, I don't want to talk about it. I want to think about it. When I'm ready to talk I will. SO DON'T ASK. Unless you want me more than pissed off at you.
